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Sunnats of Interacting with Elders (9)
24. Hazrat Moulana Abraarul Haqq Saheb (rahimahullah) has mentioned 14 points regarding the rights of parents (7 points regarding fulfilling their rights during their lifetime and 7 points regarding fulfilling their rights after their demise).
7 rights during their lifetime
1. Azmat: To respect them.
2. Muhabbat: To have love and affection for them.
3. Itaa’at: To obey them.
4. Khidmat: To serve them.
5. Fikr-e-Raahat: To grant them ease and comfort.
6. Raf-e-Haajat: To take care of all their needs.
7. To visit them often.
23. If your elders are engaged in some ibaadah or work and you wish to speak to them or discuss some matter with them, you should wait for them to complete whatever they are engaged in. When waiting for them, you should wait at a slight distance so that they are not disturbed by your presence. Thereafter, when they complete their ibaadah or work, you may meet them and discuss your need with them. In this manner, you will not disrupt their programme nor inconvenience them.
20. If you notice your elders making a mistake, then do not be hasty in correcting them immediately, as it is possible that you have not understood the situation correctly. Hence, when you find a suitable opportunity, then respectfully enquire from them regarding the matter. In this way, if they had made a mistake, they will be able to correct themselves, and if you had misunderstood the situation, they will be able to clarify your misunderstanding and guide you correctly.
16. If your seniors reprimand you for some mistake which you did not commit, then remain silent and accept their correction. Later on, when the occasion is appropriate, you may respectfully explain yourself.
17. When walking with your seniors, let them walk ahead of you. [1]
12. Do not regard yourself to be equal or greater than your seniors.
13. You should not hope or desire that your elders call you by respectable titles, etc.
14. Do not address your seniors from a distance by shouting out to them if you need to enquire regarding anything. Rather, you should respectfully go up to them and then address them.
15. Do not wait for your seniors to ask you to fulfil some service which is expected from you. You should carry it out before they ask you to do so.
8. When addressing your elder, speak to him with respect. Do not be rude and disrespectful in your approach.
9. Do not raise your voice above the voice of your elder, nor argue with him.
10. When you are in the company of your senior, do not embark on any activity without his consent.
11. Do not ask your senior to do any work for you. Rather, you should remain in his service.
4. Do not call your elders by nicknames. [1]
5. When speaking about your parents, ustaads, elders, etc., refer to them in a respectful manner. [2]
1. Always show respect to your elders from within your heart and outwardly as well, regardless of whether they are your parents, teachers, family members, etc. [1]
2. Address your elders using respectable names or titles. For example, if the person is an Aalim then call him with the title “Moulana”. If he is a Haafiz of the Quraan Majeed then call him with the title “Haafiz Saheb”. [2]
Adab (respect and etiquette) is the secret to success and progress. The amount of progress that a person will make in his life is proportionate to the amount of adab that he possesses.
It is imperative for one to learn the aadaab (etiquettes) when dealing with people – especially one’s elders – in order for one to benefit from them and to ensure that one does not cause them any inconvenience at any time.
Our pious predecessors were perfect examples for us to emulate in order to inculcate adab in our lives.
The Taabi’een (rahimahumullah) remained in the company of the Sahaabah (radhiyallahu ‘anhum), benefiting from them and acquiring from them the true knowledge and spirit of Deen. They remained committed to their teachings for such a lengthy period until the colour of the sunnah had completely rubbed onto them and permeated their entire lives.